4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
