we're blogging at a bar
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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