Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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