Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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