Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
