we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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