she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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