Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
