I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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