She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
please come you make the beer taste better
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
