I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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