my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
