Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
