I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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