I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
