none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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