That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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