he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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