Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
