3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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