he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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