When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
