i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
