How'd it feel making her break her religion?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
