Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
