I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
