we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
