You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
