she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just invented taco cereal.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
