you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
