Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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