Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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