just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
