I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
