woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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