it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
