Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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