i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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