so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
