If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I skipped work to stalk him.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
