Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
