i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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