Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
