the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
