Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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