Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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