you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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