Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
