I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I have post one night stand depression
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