Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
