Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
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