About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
