babies were throwing up all over the place
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
