I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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