my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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