is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize